What's the Nature of Your Emergency?
a ridiculous short story about horror tropes
This was written for the 30 Days of Fright Writing Challenge, prompt 12: twist a trope.
I made a list of horror tropes: from killer clowns, to abandoned amusement parks, kids making out and dying because of it, 20-year old unsolved murders, returning to the scene to kill again… you name it. Then I mashed ‘em up into… this silly thing.
I won’t claim it’s my most inspired work, but it was sort of fun to think about. See how many tropes you can spot. And don’t forget, the prompt was to up-end the tropes.
What’s the Nature of Your Emergency?
Brady pulled his Mustang into a corner of the vast empty parking lot, two spaces over from one of the few working streetlights. The yellow lines on the pavement were worn almost to oblivion.
Galleons of Glee—the pirate-themed amusement park—had been abandoned for two decades. The perfect place to be alone.
His girlfriend, Bunny, sidled up next to him, still wearing her uniform from cheerleading practice (Not for long, if he has his way!), his Varsity jacket draped over her shoulders. “This is so sexy,” she cooed. “Making out in front of an abandoned amusement park.”
“And totally safe,” he said, sliding his arm around her. “No cops bother coming around here.”
She laughed, shaking her blonde curled hair unnecessarily, but for effect. “Well, not since those murders twenty years ago.”
Brady laughed, too and leaned in, oblivious to the world outside their car.
+++
Being rather… er… pre-occupied, it makes sense that neither Brady nor Bunny (Can you imagine those wedding invitations?) noticed the four figures in white masks jumping the fence and sneaking into Galleons of Glee. Nor did they see the filthy clown, looking like he’d just crawled out of a sewer, shuffle his way up to a side door, unlock it, and disappear into the park.
+++
“Man, this place is really a mess!” said Jonah, sliding the mask up on top of his head.
“Yeah,” said his wife. “But all the old stuff is still here.” The ferris wheel loomed tall and motionless. Toy stuffed animals rotted in game stalls with torn and faded striped awnings. The Tilt-a-Whirl was overgrown and tangled in weeds. The carousel animals looked defeated.
“This was a great idea!” said Tony. “Really brings me back. Remember all those summers we spent here?”
Elizabeth spun around, taking it all in, in the beams of their flashlights. “How could I forget? I worked here that last summer, remember?”
The mention of the last summer put a damper on their mood, what with the horrible unsolved murders that had occurred. Four teenagers from their senior class.
Still, the place brought back memories…
“Shall we look around?” Jess asked. “Me and Jonah gotta be back by one to take the babysitter home.”
+++
While the four middle-aged adults wandered through the remnants of the park, a dirty clown, holding an axe, was breaking through a wooden door on the other side of the park. The wood splintered with satisfying cracks. He smiled a red painted smile.
+++
The midway was lined with derelict rides and slumping game stalls. Paths branched out toward fun houses, the Hall of Mirrors, the wax museum and all the other attractions that kept them coming back as teenagers. Though the real draw was being on their own, doing what they wanted, hanging out with friends. Until some of them were murdered, of course.
Those murders still haunted Tony. Not just because they were gruesome and unsolved. But because he had a hunch, like an itch, somewhere in the back of his mind. That the killer was someone they knew.
Now he wandered in the dark, flashlight in hand, toward the Hall of Mirrors. He had been in it so many times, he had the way out memorized. He bet he could still do it. “Guys, I bet—” He turned around to find himself alone. “Guys?”
+++
“Hey,” Jonah said, “It’s the old Tunnel of Love.”
“Gross,” Jess said, looking at the sludge, made of rotted leaves. The sign hung lopsided by one corner.
“We had some good times in there,” Jonah joked. “I think Tony went in there once, just once, with Liz. Hey guys—” He turned around. “Hey, where are Tony and Liz?”
+++
The clown took off the ridiculous red nose. It was making it hard to breathe, especially with his allergies. Mold, you know.
He flipped switches in the control room. He looked at the axe lying on the floor. Tonight justice would finally be served.
+++
Around the park, the lights that weren’t broken came on. From one lonely speaker, circus music played.
Jonah jumped. Jess gasped. “What the hell?”
Most importantly, but unbeknownst to them, security cameras whirred to life all around the park. Eyes that no one knew were watching.
And in the control room, the clown laughed.
+++
Liz had headed straight for the galleons. The pirate ships loomed in the darkness, masts broken and fallen, sails rotted away. Like ghost ships, she thought. Ghost ships in a sea of cracked pavement.
She climbed the ladder up to the deck of the biggest ship and, as lights flashed on throughout the park she only paused briefly to wonder why. Then she rummaged around on deck until she found exactly what she wanted.
+++
“This is creepy,” Jess said. “Maybe we should head back. Meet up with the others.”
Jonah deferred to his wife. The lights coming on and the eerie music was creeping him out, too.
As they walked down the deserted midway, they heard it. A shuffling, dragging sort of sound. Behind them.
Jess turned around. Despite the lights here and there, it was still dark. Nothing. “Did you hear that?”
“Yeah.” Jonah’s voice cracked.
They walked a little faster.
The noise began again. Closer. Louder. Like chains dragging in the dirt.
This time they both turned around. Then Jonah laughed at the silhouette of the pirate—hat and parrot and all—with a cutlass in one hand and dragging a chain in the other. “Oh man, Tony, you totally had us goin.’ Where’d you find that stuff anyway?”
The pirate said nothing.
Then it lunged forward and cut Jonah down with its cutlass. Jess screamed. Jonah gurgled from the dirt, “Run!”
And Jess did. She ran.
She ran and she stumbled for no clear reason. She fell once, tripping over nothing, sure she’d feel the cutlass slice into her back. She groped her way along the dirt, for some reason not being able to get back up. No, she wouldn’t be that girl. She clambered up on her hands and knees. Stood up. Started to run again.
When she dared to look back, the pirate was gone.
+++
The clown watched the monitors in the control room. The clown made sure the cameras were recording. The clown dialed 911.
“911. What’s the nature of your emergency?”
“Well, uh, it all started when we were in high school…”
+++
Tony saw dozens of reflections of himself. He was looking old, he thought. And yeah, he’d forgotten how to get out of this damn maze.
Then he saw someone else reflected in the mirrors. Pirate hat, fake parrot, cutlass brown with blood.
He couldn’t run. He felt his way along as quickly as he could, and Liz, the pirate, did the same. She was coming for him. He knew it wasn’t a joke.
He turned. Dead end. Turned back. She laughed, splintered all around him. “Why?” he moaned.
“You suspected it was me all along, didn’t you?”
His heart was beating in his throat. He stumbled, dazed, out of the door, directly under the security camera. Now all he had to do was outrun her. Then he felt the cutlass in his back.
+++
The sirens and lights, the cop cars screaming into the lot, finally alerted Brady and Bunny that something was going on.
“Dammit,” she said, pulling her cheerleader top up to cover herself. “This seems excessive for making out.”
“The kids making out always get a raw deal,” Brady said, shaking his head.
Amid the commotion, a cop hefted up his pants and sidled up to the shocked teenagers parked in the car at the corner of the lot, near the streetlight.
Brady rolled down the window.
“Got ourselves a crazed serial killer here, kids. You’re lucky she didn’t take you out first, parked out here …. uh, doing what you were doing.”
Brady didn’t say anything. Bunny blushed.
“Listen, did you kids see anything?”
“No sir,” Brady said. “We didn’t see a damn thing.”
+++
Brady and Bunny watched as, in the swirling red and blue lights, the police stormed Galleons of Glee. A clown without a red nose let them in the front gates.
The paramedics followed.
Five minutes later, two stretchers were brought out, followed by a woman walking with a blanket around her shoulders. They got into two ambulances and sped away, sirens blaring.
Then they watched as the police ushered out a pirate—yes a pirate, complete with a fake parrot—in handcuffs. One officer carried a bloody cutlass in a plastic bag.
The clown stood looking on, arms folded across his chest, as a cop yanked the pirate hat off Liz’s head and ducked her into the back of the police car.
She looked daggers at him. “I would have gotten away with it. If it weren’t for that meddling clown.”
If you’re interested in doing this 30-day horror-writing challenge, or reading other stories by other writers in the challenge, it’s hosted by
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Brilliantly subversive. Excellent!